Love

Where is the love? its all around us, it´s in the breeze, the trees, in between our knees. It´s waiting to be found. Not to be looked for but to be found.

I am heading out on foot through the valleys and the trees leaving Millie behind me. I have given the van to an Israeli woman and her son and they will be driving it to Italy where I will meet them. I have never felt free-er in my life.

Before you read any further I just want to add any of the following or preceding feelings that you may read are mine. I in no way profess them to be true or in any way factual for anybody but myself. They are merely my feelings at this point in my life. Please enjoy them at a distance and take from them what you will.

It´s strange, last blog I spoke of this phrase "I have everything that I need" and that I was about to put it into practice. I have news to report. I have everything that I need. All we need is here for us. All the time. Whenever we need. I feel this next statement to be true; the moment we love ourselves, all is possible. Easier said than done I´d say but then I would say cause I am in the heart of a lifelong process of understanding these words. And I´m making some beautiful mistakes! It´s so beautiful. In a way its completely impossible, how can we ever really make a mistake because as soon as something takes us away from Love and from what we really enjoy then it also iluminates what we do love. I feel sometimes we need to live an eternity of what we don´t need just to bring us round to see and feel and trust what we do. And i don´t mean in terms of deep and meaningful lifechanging necessities I mean the simple day to day.

I was at a "spiritual talk" two days ago. What an absurd name for a talk, I love it´s ridiculousness, when is a talk not a spiritual talk, asking for milk is a spiritual talk, how can an action not be spiritual. We are all balls of energy, all manifestations of this mystical creation we refer to as spirit, how can we be anything but spiritual, to shit is as spiritual as meditation. Within this spiritual talk there was alot of reference to acceptance, to love, to searching deep within for that place where fear and anxiety cannot go. I agree with all of these and I loved that somebody was creating a space where people could come together and discuss these issues. I wondered why we weren´t also talking about diet. About sleep. About cleanliness and our day to day habits. I love "spiritual talks" don´t get me wrong, a little bit of self investigation and emotional masturbation are great at times but I feel at this particular talk something was missing. Life does not just consist of meditation and visualisation, we must all exist in the material world whether we like it or not and even with that we have a choice. If we choose to stay we have another choice to make, whether to learn how to function in the most loving way for ourselves or whether to try and function in the river of everyone elses disfunction.

At this current moment in time I feel blessed. Because I have lived a life that has led me to being able to create a world that is full of Love. Bringing together a really healthy day to day habit that honours all that I need. The fact that I as a person like to be clean and well fed. I am understanding more and more the foods I enjoy and what my body needs and I feel so much calmer for it. For this calmness I also feel more capable of listening to my heart and what it needs, when I need space for myself when I need the company of others. Learning to give myself an abundance of all whenever I need it. I can easily forget sometimes that abundance can be a piece of bread, a nap, an apple, a conversation, a mountain as easily as it can be a full day of manual labour. It´s whatever I feel it to be. The joy of being able to hear my mind, my heart, my soul my body and allow them to flow together and work with each other when they need and take space from each other when they don´t.

I am about to do something that I never thought possible. I am about to walk off into the unknown with nothing but a rucksack and an open heart. And here is the beauty. I know with every ounce of my being, even my little toes the most doubt filled of extremities, that everything I need will be brought to me as and when I need. I am full of love and always will be.

Why does love exist? Because we have this little part of our back that we just can´t reach.