Hello

I want to share my story.
I share it as a story below.
I also share it as a poem below the initial below.
Feel free to read both, either or neither.
Above all please feel free to enjoy every moment of doing whatever it is you want to do.

Story

A year ago I lived a fairly conventional life:
I am renting a room in London, I have a partner, I am working six days a week, I feel happy with isolated and trapped, Perhaps you can relate.
During a process of denial, my body begins to shut down, I nearly have a nervous breakdown, lose alot of weight through stress and a week long bout of Dhiaorrea, I feel mostly isolated and trapped. Perhaps you can relate.
In no particular order I quit my job, work freelance for a while, experience burnout back at my Mum and Dads house, leave my partner, spend all my savings on a Motor Home called Millie and drive to Spain, Perhaps you can relate?

After a magical six months living with alternative communities across Spain, engaging with a journey of self discovery, Letting go of old cyclical habits and embracing myself as I am, I feel wonderful. I decide in a moment of wonder to give the van away and begin walking. I dream of walking with nothing but a backpack for a long time, only now do I feel the courage to do it.

I pack a bag and walk into a mountain range called La Sierra Luja also known as La Sierra de Africa. I walk on my own in the mountains for 6 days, I lose all of my posessions during the decent. I arrive back in "civilization" with the clothes on my back, my mobile phone (flat battery), a few crystals, tea tree oil and nothing else. I am helped by so many beautiful human beings! A Homeless man gifts me warm clothes, young guys smoking weed in a stairwell gift me blankets and a place to sleep, Social services break the law to give me money to get to the nearest big town. I travel penniless across the Spanish Coast and receive endless gifts of generosity as mentioned above, all that I want appears infront of me just when I want it. I learn, create and remember the following understanding; if I want to suffer and be without what I want its perfectly possible. If I want to be surrounded by what I want, then I can.

I then travel back to Millie with a beautiful human being called Oda, I want to say thankyou to you personally Oda: You, amongst many, have been a beautiful influence in my life, protecting, caring and accepting me as I am and enjoying the process. With Love and Gratitude I say thankyou.

After a short visit to London to be with Family I am now back in Spain. Millie the motorhome has very generously been gifted back to me, she apparently felt too much like responsibility. Oda, Millie and I are currently preparing a journey towards Greece.

Poem

A corrupted desire always manifests corruptly.
This is the world we are living in.
Corrupted desires, desired by the many.
Now I want something different 
That's what I want, what I'm making, what I've made,
I want this paradise to be shared.
Love is everything.
 I and all creatures are capable of miracles, of acts of Love.
 Love expands exponentially when shared.  
I learn through doing and as each flowers blooming 
Its brothers and sisters they wish to bloom too.
To listen to my own wants is generous without measure. 
To communicate clearly what we want is loving without measure. 
To be different is beautiful, We are all unique without measure.
To Love and be Loved for who we are is powerful beyond measure,
We can receive and gift this power to self and to others.
Whatever I want is here when I want it,
I want to be a unification of body, heart, soul and mind. 
A being whose feelings, intuitions, thoughts, words and deeds,
Are balanced, in harmony, flowing and free.
I am You, You are Me, We are, when we want to be.
Every piece of advice I give to another I am also giving to myself. 
Any loving gesture to self is also a loving gesture to everyone else.
And in every gesture lies an act of creation.

The time is here to re conceptualise our reality 
To allow a free and loving humanity to be as it wants to be.

I want to thank this online community for your continued support. The Love I have received via this blog has been magical, inspirational and transformative. It frightens me to share my feelings in such a public forum, your words of support have given me the courage to continue doing so.

This is the last blog in this series and I leave you with a wondering.
I want to live in a world where I feel comfortable to be who I am. I understand that many are in a situation where this does not feel possible. Perhaps you can relate.
I understand that many don't want to be comfortable and loved. Perhaps you can relate.
I also understand that everything is a choice. That saying out loud what we really want is the same thing as taking the first step towards finding it. All we have to do is want something. Perhaps we can relate.

With Love, I wish you all that you want.